Booored

its been a while I saw her.,.,hoping I can on next 3rd Oct. really looking forward to it. I just become numb and nervous when I see her each and every time.,can't help it.,., well its been a complicated relation.,I am a lot confused and tangled. friends told me to try change my self in any kind of possible way..,but I can't truly.,. not even I am sleeping.,its her thoughts that keeps me running. hope my meeting is going to be a turning point.., its my B.day on 3rd hoping for a real surprise.,.,of-course from her....... I having my fingers crossed.,.,

I must understood at the very first day, but I don't know why I didn't. May be I had the feeling to get every lost things back from the deepness. But I still can't get those. I thought I will never look back, butt I had to back to face the ugly truth. Those sweet days are now like hell in a cell. But I am still trying to overcome and wake up from these horror dreams.,.,hope I will succeed.

Everyone says, Never look back in time. Cause past is dark. Everyone says love current. But I say My past is better then my present. I was more vicious, more aggressive, But now I am trying to forget my past just like the others. Trying to live in this better then DARK society. I am not like the ones who love to obtain the rules & so called regulations of this futuristic present. I will stop my quest until & unless I succeed to tell some people that I am not finished, I am still going on and on.,., I can slow up but can't stop. Cause that doesn't help me find my self. And that one is more important.